My wonderful evening plans having been scuttled, I broke open a bottle of red to go with my Starbucks sandwich which is 98% potato and 2% ketchup smushed between slices of crumbly white. My fancy earrings dangle from my earlobes sulkily.
I read somewhere that someone's grandmother said, by way of bread folk wisdom, that "The whiter the bread the sooner you're dead". Since then, I buy the yuckiest black-brown nasty seeded wholemealy wholewheaty bread I can find, yet another attempt at trying to stretch my life a some more.
Once I mentally willed it away and I don't know if the wager went it through, and I feel like I am living it all on borrowed time. Very exhilarating.
Its the wine talking.
***
I have also drunk called and drunk emailed friends because at times like this, when cheesy bollywood songs seem deep and meaningful to me, I have the sudden urge to collect all the people I love into one room. And then to say, ok, don't stray. Stay. I think I have oats somewhere which I can feed you with.
I have said to them all, I am going on holiday, and I love you and miss you and feel yet again yet again that this life is a little confusing, if the point of it is to be away from those who make it bearable. My own company is only tolerable for short periods of time to myself.
***
Deliverance _still_ sends me vouchers and if that seems a mysterious and profound-crappy sentence to you, its only because you haven't tasted Deliverance's samosas. How the FUCK do you unsubscribe to two years of your life's utilities hinged on to the SE1 post code? And what about all my free vouchers?
***
I am always torn when I have to pick my reading for a holiday. A holiday, when one is otherwise gainful employed, is a chance to embrace time in its chunkiness. I have nine days worth of time to do as I please - should I re-read a series that I whizzed through in early days, or should I re-discover something new?
Should I take up non-fiction? Should I read for my new upcoming job? Should I not read, and just sleep and stare?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
I am torn between LOTR and Maugham. I could re-read Gaiman, except I just did that. I didn't understand the last three books of Ender's Game very well, so I could re-read those. I could read Railsea.
Except that Kraken hurt my head. I could read some more Stross except that all his women get abused and I am feeling rather vulnerable of late. I could finish the sequels to Pattern Recognition, except that the first three chapters of Spook Country also make my head hurt.
My head hurts.
I have forced my traveling companion to read 'The Windup Girl' off my Kindle on this trip (you know, it being set in Bangkok and all - so wonderful I am) , so I needs must transfer my choice to his Kindle in eight hours time.
Sigh.x
I read somewhere that someone's grandmother said, by way of bread folk wisdom, that "The whiter the bread the sooner you're dead". Since then, I buy the yuckiest black-brown nasty seeded wholemealy wholewheaty bread I can find, yet another attempt at trying to stretch my life a some more.
Once I mentally willed it away and I don't know if the wager went it through, and I feel like I am living it all on borrowed time. Very exhilarating.
Its the wine talking.
***
I have also drunk called and drunk emailed friends because at times like this, when cheesy bollywood songs seem deep and meaningful to me, I have the sudden urge to collect all the people I love into one room. And then to say, ok, don't stray. Stay. I think I have oats somewhere which I can feed you with.
I have said to them all, I am going on holiday, and I love you and miss you and feel yet again yet again that this life is a little confusing, if the point of it is to be away from those who make it bearable. My own company is only tolerable for short periods of time to myself.
***
Deliverance _still_ sends me vouchers and if that seems a mysterious and profound-crappy sentence to you, its only because you haven't tasted Deliverance's samosas. How the FUCK do you unsubscribe to two years of your life's utilities hinged on to the SE1 post code? And what about all my free vouchers?
***
I am always torn when I have to pick my reading for a holiday. A holiday, when one is otherwise gainful employed, is a chance to embrace time in its chunkiness. I have nine days worth of time to do as I please - should I re-read a series that I whizzed through in early days, or should I re-discover something new?
Should I take up non-fiction? Should I read for my new upcoming job? Should I not read, and just sleep and stare?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
I am torn between LOTR and Maugham. I could re-read Gaiman, except I just did that. I didn't understand the last three books of Ender's Game very well, so I could re-read those. I could read Railsea.
Except that Kraken hurt my head. I could read some more Stross except that all his women get abused and I am feeling rather vulnerable of late. I could finish the sequels to Pattern Recognition, except that the first three chapters of Spook Country also make my head hurt.
My head hurts.
I have forced my traveling companion to read 'The Windup Girl' off my Kindle on this trip (you know, it being set in Bangkok and all - so wonderful I am) , so I needs must transfer my choice to his Kindle in eight hours time.
Sigh.x
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