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Thursday, April 24, 2008

The - I don't have a dream - speech

All my life has been about stumbling along and finding things. I don't have a dream.
Here is my speech.


The last few days have been filled with inane symbols. last sundays. last mondays. last hours of class. last hour of banking. last hour of tax. last missed attendance.

In some days and some more, ( with a generous dollop of good luck with my drafting paper) I shall have reached the almost end of my college days.
My formal education, the times of missing attendance and losing erasers and pre-exam cramming are drawing to a close.

In a year, a year of quiet, a year of nothingness, I will be leaving.
Suddenly I feel tainted with mortality. Like someone pulled out the carpet from below my feet and prepared to push me into the world.

My world here, is slowly fading. There is the dilution of the arrogance of youth, the promise of always more time is fainter with each passing day.
my newness is forced. adventure is mellowing and one seeks out quiet corners more than ever.

I need new dreams.

The time has come to redeem those 3 am promises and angry mutterings behind the backs of (often unwise) authority. To prepare.

Yet, I am bereft. Lost and floundering in my ability to face the unknown, without terms, and ideals.

I need new dreams.




p.s. for all those who enquired, thank you, I am back. enormous quantities of soul searching awaits.